Corrupt A Wish

Not granted??????????

I wish that I finished this maths!!!

Not granted you rip up the work.

I wish I could trust you.

Ah, sorry; I was a little drunk at the time I posted that...

Anyhow, granted, but it's the wrong homework task.

I wish for a pen to come flying my way and kill/injure someone, including me. (Ha ha! Now the outcome is most likely going to be good. Then again, now that I've said that, it's not likely it'll be good at all)

EDIT: Curses, Storm posted before me!

Not granted because Derek Bum kills you instead.

I wish for my banana.

Unfortunately, it wasn't your banana, and a gorilla came down and stole it off you.

I wish for a cold drink of coke. (If I haven't wished for that already)

Granted, but it's mouldy.

I wish for a remote.

Granted, but you can't find what it controls.

I wish for an egg.

Granted but its a Yoshi and it kill you.

I wish for a talking dog.

Granted, but it tells you to piss off.

I wish for a handgun.

Granted but it has no bullets.

I wish that i could shoot myself.

Not granted, I wouldn't let you!

I wish for a Hamburger.

Not granted because you wouldn't let me shoot myself so I shot you first.

I wish that i was a pinapple.

Granted, but a Hawaiian finds you and puts you in a fruit salad.

I wish for a pen that never ran out of ink.

Granted, but the source of ink is taken directly from your blood stream and you end up feeling dizzy when writing essays as a result of major blood loss.

I wish for a radio that has a perfect signal all of the time.

Granted but all the radio channels closed looking for life on mars.

I wish there was life on Mars.

Granted but they invade earth and enslave us all.

I wish for a zombie that obeyed my every command.

Granted but the zombie dosn't have a brain so it dosn't know anything that you said...

I wish that i was brutaly killed in an alley (that means it has to be good hehe.)

Not true, because of the reason that follows: Granted, but you find out there is no afterlife!

I wish for a useless disposable cup.

Not granted, you get a lama instead.

I wish i coud walk on water.

Granted, but you start singing the Basshunter song about walking on water.

I wish I could swim properly.

Granted, but the water turns into jelly and you become stuck. Motionless in the ooze.

I wish for a swing set.

granted but it collapses when you start swinging.

I wish for a toy monkey.

Granted. You get a cymbal monkey. Enjoy your slow death.

I wish for two eggs and a bottle of vinegar.

Granted, but the egss are stuck in the bottle of vinegar and you can't get them out.

I wish for a passport.

Not granted.Psyneku, how many times do I have to tell you that the government don't trust you and never will? XD