Corrupt A Wish

Granted but when you go in it a panda came along and rips you cock off. XD

I wish I had a camera that didn't work.

Granted. But it was beyond repair.

Iwish for anything panda related.

Granted, but it's a Pandas' crap.

I wish i had a flying unicycle.

Granted, but to ride it you have to juggle at the same time.

I wish for a bottle of rum.

Granted, but only when you've drunk it do you realise it's Poison.

I wish I was a flying Goat.

Granted, but you can never land.

I wish for an evil doomsday device.

Granted, but it doesn't work.

I wish I had a degree in washing up. (Baxter)

Granted, but it's not accredited as a qualification.

I wish for good news on the 18th of August.

Granted, but the good news has nothing to do with your grades.

I wish for the most powerful AAA battery in the world!

Granted, but it's Atrocious, Appalling and Awful. Triple A!

I wish I could swim twice as fast as the world's fastest swimmer.

Granted, but you swam over 88mph and went back in time and changed history, which caused you to not exist.

...

I wish this forum was active with members who don't spam, flame or troll.

Granted, but the forum is overloaded with people, thus leaving it only one choice - to close forever.

I wish for a second wish.

Granted but it is cursed and turnes you in to a piece of faith.

I wish for apple pie!

Granted, but it's made from poisonous apples and you die.

I wish for an egg.

Granted but it hatches into a swan and breaks your neck.

I wish I was a computer.

Granted, but I delete some of your software so that you become headless.

I wish I was an ace-trainer.

Granted, but I thought that you said space trainer, so I sent you to space to try and train it, but to no avail. You are left to drift though space until the time comes when your life ends.

I wish for a picture of a panda.

Granted but you can not move or do anything and you fall out of your frame and get ripped and die.

Heh, he wanted a picture of one, not to be the picture itself.

Granted, but... not granted, because there was no wish.

Oh...

Now for your wish... Um what is it?

I wish I had more free time.

Granted, but you have so much free time that nobody else does, and no-one will ever be able to have fun ever again.

I wish these ads would disappear and not come back.

Granted, but with no Ads the forum is no longer on google, it never gets for members and everytime you go to sleep the ads and members of the forum haunt you, until one night when i burst into your room screaming with an axe and hack you to pieces.

I wish I could shapeshift.

Granted, but you manage to shape-shift into a motionless table in which you no longer have any human characteristics and are never able to turn back for the rest of your life, until someone takes you to a dump and has you cut up for nothing other than fire wood.

I wish I could die.

Granted but i ressurect you then slice your head off with an axe, and i continue the process again and again and again.

I wish i was a Bird